are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
