oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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