Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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