How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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