So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
