I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
