1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
