using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
