I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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