If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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