where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize