saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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