Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My hand turned me down
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
