saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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