all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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