you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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