I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
