I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
