I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
