She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
