their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize