i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize