Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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