Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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