Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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