Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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