Already got asked if we're dating
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
