I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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