and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
