So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
