THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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