Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
