using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
