I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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