Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
