It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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