I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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