A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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