A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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