This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drunk is not a location!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
