make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize