sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize