it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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