Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
