no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize