my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
