My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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