Sorry, I don't speak sober.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
