i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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