I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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