i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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