i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We talked him into tasing himself.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
