wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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