You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
