At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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