he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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