We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
