she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize