youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
