even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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