dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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