i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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