Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
