I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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