Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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