My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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